Imagine the amount of self-importance it takes to ask that question of someone when you do not like what you are hearing and demand that it stop.
Imagine feeling such a strong sense of self-assertion that you couldn’t stop yourself from saying this to someone intending to put you down.
Imagine the level of respect that is demanded when this question is asked.
Disclaimer: This can be a triggering question. I am aware that if we have ever said it, we have felt under attack and if we have ever had it said to us, we have felt under attack. Take a few deep breaths and release any memories that pop up – this isn’t about any of them.
This is all about you. And the way you talk to your self.
How many times have you felt under attack, shamed and reprimanded for being who you are or saying something that received a negative or no response? How many times have you felt isolated from understanding and compassion in an argument that seems to always repeat itself?
How many times do you find yourself defending yourself, from yourself.
Truly, too many to count. We are our own constant companion and even when we are not aware of it, we are always in some kind of communication with our self.
These are the most important conversations you will ever have, so ask yourself, who exactly is it that you think you are talking to?
And are those words a true reflection of your innermost self and do they honor the pure divinity of your spirit self?
Probably not. Until we are aware of our spirit self, we are consumed by the ever changing reality of our physical senses; and our self talk is just an absorption and regurgitation of what anybody has ever observed and critiqued.
We are in a perpetual compare, contrast and condemn mode in the way we think about our self and our life.
It does not have to be this way. We can shift from condemnation to compassion not only in our self-talk, but in our self-love and in our self-care – basically anything having to do with the self. 😉 We can shift it with our awareness, intention and our commitment to choosing words that feel better as we say them.
First, give yourself permission to change your self-talk. You have been talking to yourself a certain way for a long time and it generally reflects the environment you grew up in and the way people have talked to you and about you. Release it. Let it go with the knowing that none of that is your truth. You are allowed to release any and all descriptives about you that you do not want and that are not aligned with the character you are developing and expressing within you.
When we are starting to pay attention to our thoughts, it is enough to just be aware of how a thought feels when you think it. If you can notice that you are starting to feel tense, upset, agitated or hurt – check in with your thoughts and see where they are at. Your hurtful self-talk will always reflect a negative belief about yourself. You don’t have to change anything at this stage. It is enough to be aware and recognize the types of thoughts that do not feel good and know that you want to change them.
This is where all change starts. Everything we have ever improved in our lives began as a simple intention to do so. Writing out your intentions is a great way to anchor them and practice them into habits that will support you.
- I intend to be kind to myself today.
- I intend to be aware of my thoughts today.
- I intend to feel better.
- I intend to appreciate anything around me that feels good.
- I intend to release negative self-talk.
If you start your morning with self-supporting intentions, you are training your mind to recall these thoughts whenever you going negative. You won’t be able to stop all negative thought, but when you have intentions set, they help steer the flow of your thoughts to what you are wanting.
Imagine again the self-respect, self-assertion and self-importance it takes to defend yourself and call those feelings forward every time you are aware of your negative self-talk.
Every time. No Acceptions. There is never a negative thought about yourself that is True.
Read that again.
You are worthy of feeling better and there is nothing that is ever standing in the way of your becoming other than how you think and believe yourself to be. Meeting yourself in this place expands into more and more good feeling thoughts that you are now inviting in to your experience. Take an opportunity to write down affirmations or soothing expressions that you can use to replace the negative self-talk you are becoming aware of.
- Thank goodness this is coming up so that I can change it.
- It is okay to feel what I am feeling right now.
- I can release this thought so that a better feeling one can come in.
- I am okay. I am enough. I am allowed to change my thoughts.
- I don’t have to think about this right now.
- “Squirrel!” or “Tree!” Anything in nature is an excellent way to distract yourself from whatever negative non-sense is trying to get your attention.
You always get to choose where your attention goes.
The Bigger Picture
Your self-talk is composed of much more than just how you speak to yourself. It is found in the questions we have, what we believe about our self, how we talk about ourselves to others, the tapes that play in our head and even how we think and talk to, or about, others because what are our thoughts about other people but just more reflections of how we see our self?
You are more than the physical body you see and have learned to endlessly critique – changing your self talk will allow you to see the bigger versions of yourself and give you the courage to step into that becoming that is solely and uniquely yours.
Sending love to you on your path today,