I am not Immune to Fear.
This is apparent as I am intending to be as Conscious as Possible when observing my son’s fears. And it is also apparent that there are fears I am still clearing as I can struggle to allow my son full expression of his fears.
I want to reason with him and I can’t. I want him to just believe me and he probably wants to, but he Cant. And when I get frustrated with the situation, it is harder for me to empathise with him and as he picks up on that, he gets more anxious.
So I surrender.
I accept that it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar to observe my son’s fears without getting attached to them and wanting to sweep them away quickly. I accept that I don’t always handle it well and I accept that I invited and chose this very circumstance.
I feel blessed to go through this now in this way. I know that as I am experiencing it, I will gain more insight and clarity into the inner workings of its Why. I do not forget that while children and parents are living real-life scenarios of their real-life fears; I have the luxury of playing in hypotheticals and exploring conscious avenues of expression on this topic with my child. And I do not take that for granted.
So I renew my intentions day to day to observe with love and understanding and look for the clearest path available to me in understanding the Reason for this experience.
I do not seek Immunity from Fear or any Shadow Emotion – they are just as vital to our composition as the Light. I welcome every opportunity to release fear so that more light can come through and perhaps our every discussion and Emotional Release is a chipping away at the Collective Death Trauma we have stored in our DNA.
I could reach higher into his birth chart where the current transits are making powerful squares to his Pluto in the 4th house and extend my consciousness to clear any karmic timelines of death that are stored in his/our cell memory and repeat as often as necessary …Until.
Until the Physical Proof outweigh the fears and until he can find security through the changes of everything he feels.
And until I can release my opposition to his expression and thereby transmute some of my own fears, which can ease his own transmutation. I can employ Consciousness in every instant I am aware of what I am feeling on this topic and allow us all the freedom to feel what we feel.
I cannot say that he is wrong to feel fear or even that there is nothing to fear. His fears are very real to him. Mine were too for most of my life. It probably wasn’t until a few years ago where I could not dissolve into tears thinking of my own mother’s future death.
I can be patient with myself because I learn every bit of what I teach.
And talking about Death in a Conscious Way is New Ground for Me. But it is Ground that I chose long ago to cultivate and seed.
Pluto is in my Natal 8th House and in its Archetypal Home – There can be a “Prove it” mentality with Pluto/Scorpio/8th House, where Seeing/Experiencing is the only way of acceptable knowing. There are many other aspects in my chart that point to my continuation of this very journey/topic that I don’t feel as though I require “Physical” proof, like a Near-Death or Terminal Diagnosis, to Know of the Transition that we fear as Death.
But to poke the Concept with my thoughts and words on Purpose can at first feel as though I am tempting the shadow to wrap itself around me and it is easy to feel fear at first contact and retreat – but that doesn’t let the light shine through – which is what I am here to do.
We experience the Loss of Death to understand and know the Illusion of Loss. We feel grief and sorrow and fear because our Ultimate Desire is to Live Fully. We let ourselves be enslaved to its illusion because our belief in that is bigger than the belief in our self as Magnificent Spiritual Beings.
I have long maintained that Death is one of the Last Great Strongholds on Human Consciousness. Once it is broken and more and more people are aware of its illusion and know the truth of their being, the purpose they come into this world with becomes more and more clear and the choice of Freedom becomes more and more Obvious.
. And we Realise it One By One. I cannot Realise it for my child. He will have to do that. And I come into its Realisation more and more every day. I am not exempt from its lessons but I Intend and Strive to be a Conscious Navigator of Them.
It is All Any of Us Can Do.
Sending Much Love and Light to All on their Journey,
Reblogged this on Lost Dudeist Astrology.